


Any World You Want

by hauntedshoes



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Countries Using Human Names, Gen, Horror, Nations as mythological creatures, Psychological Horror, Time is falling apart, cosmic horror, well they use both, well they use both names
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-20 05:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14253726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedshoes/pseuds/hauntedshoes
Summary: The mass of human existence is so grand, on an individual level, it is impossible to comprehend. With each one of our minds existing in different states, we can't even know those closest to us quite completely. Could understanding each other come from understanding the world? And does understanding the world come from being a part of all of its suffering at once?Nations, elusive beings found in global mythology. Once greatly praised war deities are now feared for their representation of human power. It was thought that humans couldn't become Nations - they were too different, too monstrous.  A group of youngsters will find that it is possible and that Nations are feared for a reason.





	1. Seas of Deneb Adige

**Author's Note:**

> 'Italy' is also called just that rather than 'North Italy' for plot-related reasons which you'll find out about as the story progresses.

I hadn’t seen anything like it before. A scar, like a cut from a knife in the sky. It was bleeding out its own form, all manner of stars; dripping slowly, slowly, and then released. It was 1 AM, the sign of the archer could be seen over the horizon. Deep below the earth, a change was preparing to emerge. The deep subconscious lending a desire to war, bloodshed. 

My room was spinning around me, lost in a soft haze like a dream which was forbidden to end. The soft cream carpet and tawny coloured walls were caught up between reality and fantasy. They no longer held the calming effect I had chosen them specifically for. I didn’t have the mind to take in what was around me, holding no sense of feeling or time or vision. I could find my door through vague working memory. I pushed it open. Then, despite all better judgement left my house. Into the outside, under the shroud of the night. Away from protection. Into the zenith of my own ruin. 

Something about my body was light, floaty, missing. I should have sensed it. My longing to return to the place of disaster was too unlike me. Perhaps it wasn’t my curiosity of anything supernatural that drew back to that place, rather; it was the lure of him and the feeling inside my gut. He was in deep danger. 

Germany was the first Nation I had met. I had first met him as human - Ludwig the day before. I only got to know him as Germany on this day. Yet, nothing would have prepared me for what I was going to see. 

We met at the place of disaster.

Nations are naturally connected to disaster. To themselves and to the world. This town has often been one plagued by legends of these figures, causing the death of people and downfall of monuments. In my childhood, I would sometimes have nightmares about dying by a Nation. Their appearance differing every time. Sometimes they would appear as inexplicable monsters, with eyes and arms in strange positions. The force of taking on the bodies of so many at once had twisted them physically in my young mind. Other times they would appear just as a normal human in shape but made of pure shadow. They had no face, no identity. I don’t recall which one I was most afraid of. But every time I encountered one I died alone, in flames or coughing up my own blood. 

Germany had been nice to me when I first met him. For all his power as a possible war deity, I never felt I would die by his hand or even that he would intentionally hurt me. Unless that was an obligation, as I too was to become a Nation.

The scene of the first fire was not too far from my own home. I hadn’t wandered far, even if it felt like miles. My brain had begun to awaken a little as I brought myself here. I was lucid, at least a little. 

An abandoned yet picturesque part of the city. I recall it being far more bustling when I was younger. It slowly lead itself to be forgotten. There were a few shops, many of which used to have a white frame. After the attack that day they stood brown, burnt or falling apart. The very worst of them are charred black with some of their signs also unrecognisable. I think I remember one being some kind of butchers, another selling gardening equipment and a third which was mostly used by pet owners. I must have brought Amara some food there once or twice. Even if I can’t remember it exactly, not even who owned it. I should have at least cared for it a little more whilst it was alive. When the town still cared about it.

Many of the hedgerows of plants had been protected from the fire. Replaced with fake ones in preparation for an attack of this nature. Localized to be close to the actual buildings, the pseudo foliage remained complete for now. I kind of wished I could move some of the trees from my own garden and put them here. Then the open world would have been far more beautiful, more wonderful. Everyone could enjoy them. They would do better here than remaining stuck serving me alone. 

The most important part of this square; thankfully the most untouched by a recent Nation intervention; the shattered statue of Roma herself. Nobody believes in Roma anymore, yet her icon still exists. She had been passed down through paintings and literature, but she can no longer be considered what she once was, at least not after the War. Roma was what people saw Nations as before. They were powerful and commanding authorities. Noble in the direction of their people. How and when it entirely changed is fuzzy. But once one myth changed, the rest followed. 

My town is not only symbolic of the threat of Nations but too their image. For every person they had ever killed, their bodies missing, this will act as their gravestone. 

I go past this spot, almost every morning. I would go to University, attend my classes, return home; often before the sunset, even in the dead of winter. Returning to this place at night was something I had never done, even when it mattered. The darkness made the pure white stone of the statue a lot more prominent. The buildings now smoked and dark. The statue was the only thing that made it look a little alive. It gave it some light. 

I let my eyes rest for a moment, the lights, I could see them in the sky shining, shining…

I collapsed. 

It’s not even how I remembered it. It was worse than that. Worse. Worse. So much worse. It was purple flashing bright, stunning, where the environment stranded it. Pouring across the landscape, all sides burning with cosmic liquid of vile proportions! Is Ludwig there? Is he up ahead? Can I reach for him? Is anyone here? Get me... I close my eyes and scream; some things just shouldn’t be seen by human eyes. Just being so close to it gives me images of a world wrecked in ruin. Of war, of poverty, of terror, of all manner of human pain, disaster…

I cried. The crying became a scream. Yet, I couldn’t hear anything apart from the sound of my heartbeat. Was Ludwig there to help me? Can he do something? Anything! How can he stare at the zeitgeist? Ludwig. What are you doing, are you…?

“Feliciano get out of the way!” 

He had kicked me aside with rapid speed. 

“I… I… Ludwig, I” I couldn’t keep my voice consistent between sobs.

“Straight towards the point of danger. Feliciano, what did I have to expect of you.” 

“I ca-came back to you… Ludwig.” I tried gasping for air. “I wanted to see y-you seem so troubled and…” 

“You have?” He cut me off. My eyes squinting, I could just about see him smiling at me in a way. “I guess I should thank you. Yet, you still returned here despite your best interest.” 

I shakily nodded my head. My body temperature had risen, I still felt hot despite the cold night. “Can – you forgive me?”

“How could I have trusted you not to come back?”

“Don-don’t many others like me-me want to know? What goes on when-” 

“Many other Humans, like you, end up dead.”

“Ludwig? Di-Did you want to kill me?”

I felt his hand on my head. My soft auburn hair ruffled as he moved his hands down to my face. He tried to move the hands from my eyes. I tried to open them again, gently. His face was covering these intangible lights of the sky.

“No,” he said. 

“Then why am I here? I shouldn’t be here. I j-just wanted to be here. I think that’s all I know.”

I saw that Ludwig’s figure flickered to the shock of the light. He vanished for seconds at a time and then returned. My body was already frozen from the shock of what the world around me had become. Ludwig? Is someone else there too? What is it? What are you?

Ludwig? 

Why can’t I sleep? Why aren’t I? How am I not dead? I feel as I… 

I can still see something else. 

What is that? There is something, something like cities reflected, In front of me. An orb, or perfect circle. Its pristine in its colour. The sight of many different blue skies, green grass, majestic architecture all sharp and distinct. I’m not sure how it got here. Yet, it reached to me, and it soothes me. I could reach out and touch it. 

I still feel the pain of the air as it’s close to me. I told myself it would be over soon, and I would be comforted. I inch closer, seeing the world reflected in a single circle. Its deep hues like an echo of global peace. It can save me, it’ll have to…

Only death is a saviour to this. 

I cry with some of the last drops of energy I have. I didn’t feel my body. I didn’t…  
I can feel the world resonate with my body, I feel those cities, and those places, everything as one and…

There it was!

My flesh shifted off to a temporary state it was stripped away from me. The feeling of my insides being dragged, collapsing in on themselves. I was unable to puke, to do anything. I could only lie and let it overcome me. Everything was searing and undefinable. The revolting mess of whatever was occurring internally; the body in a state of melting or draining away. Not onto the ground, not into anywhere physical. I was draining to a place below the earth. I was able to touch the earth’s core and become a part of it. It was as if my skin is burned, over and over again. With each layer replacing itself simultaneously after. Fiery, fiery, the melting stopped and became a pressing sensation. I lost my physical form. Rather, I was being reformed. No human should be able to withstand such pain! I can only look back and wonder how such a being could even be created in the first place? The sensation of the air crushing and meshing with the entirety of my shape and cutting induvial parts of me. Where were those parts? I could not touch them. Not in this state anyway. Even if you could feel them, they couldn’t have been there. My body contains but a landscape. Mountains, running water, a volcano bleeding magma. Where is it? Am I here now? There is such a thing as more than simply being here. I just wish I could find the energy to… 

Stop screaming.

Can I move now? Those cities are gone. Where are they? Inside? I can smell the air for the first time and I can reach up from the floor. I had stopped crying in almost an instance. I took a moment to catch my breath, Ludwig – Germany is still there. Alive. He’s standing with someone too. He looks just like him. He’s not Ludwig though, his eyes are purple and he’s smiling. His uniform is a light brown in comparison to Germany’s odd green colour. Germany’s uniform reminds me of something I can’t quite pinpoint, it seems like it’s the sort of thing you would be embarrassed to wear in public though. 

“Hey, Germany?”

“What! Is that-?” his head turned from side to side.

“I’m behind you Germany, I can see you. I can see all things, I am still alive!”

“Feli-is that? No, it’s Italy. What happened to you, what did you do to yourself?”

“I-I don’t know…”

“Wait, you must have – did you have anything to do with this Lutz?” 

The second one bowed his head. He had a distinctive look that was darker than that of Germany himself. Deeper, purple coloured eyes and hair a much lighter blonde. The most noticeable difference to Germany he had was a large scar on his cheek. Deep grey, god knows how long it had been there. 

“You said it yourself, Germany. He would have died, I just managed to save him.”

Germany himself lowered his head too, in a kind of synchrony. 

“You’re right, Lutz. Why did I…” 

I wiped my face of the few drops of water still left. I could smile. 

“Germany!” I rushed towards him. Am I relieved to see him? Somehow? How would I have been?

“Italy, I’m sorry…”

Who’s Italy? I’m Italy, I suppose, I think. I could be. I must be. 

It’s why I could see everything so clearly, even if it was spinning and insane. 

There was coherency, as I became the incoherent. 

The sea, sky, trees. I could breathe out each inch of the world around me and feel its breath too. My heart would turn with each cycle and I will be able to hear the mountains scream. Please don’t let me fail this. Please don’t trap me in the stone, force me into this world inanimate. Just, don’t make me one of them, like them.

“You wanted to let him die?” said Lutz. 

“Don’t be so ridiculous!”

“You asked him to come back, was your need to see him again so desperate?”

“I…” Germany shook his head. 

“I don’t think we have the time to stand here and talk, Germany! It’s draining away rather literally!” 

The strange Lutz guy vanished, like a flash. Had he gone into the gap? 

“We need to go?”

“Where?” I asked. 

“Time is having a few issues, but it shouldn’t take us long to handle.” He forced a kind of smile and placed his hand on my shoulder, “Don’t worry.” 

Time? Issues? I had no idea what he had meant by ‘time having issues?’. Was this how Nations caused so much damage? Did they wish to make time revolve around them? Perhaps Human history has not been decided by humanity itself, but by the Nations who happened to hold the whirlwind of power.

“Germany – I don’t want to - stop time…” I shoved his hand away from my shoulder and gasped. 

“Calm down, Italy. Please.” 

I could only nod and slowly blink. 

“W-where are we going?” I asked him.

He took my hand and I had no choice but to follow him. I would have expected myself to feel so much weaker after whatever had happened to me. I was somehow stronger, so much stronger. I found the strength to move my legs and to carry on. I just kept walking.

I realized how my face, my hands were warm. Not externally warm. My body had been given a kind of internal light, a glow which couldn’t be felt on my skin, only by me. 

There were no mirrors, or around lake to see my reflection. I wondered if anything had happened to my face or the rest of my body. I was still noticeably human everything from my shoulders downwards almost as if no physical changes had at all occurred. I assumed nothing had changed me physically. Germany still looked like a normal human too, after all, not even a glow in his eyes. At least, if something had altered me physically then this form wouldn’t make me feel as if I was deceiving someone. Hiding as human when really, I’m not one at all. 

What forms should Nations have? If one at all? The interior of a human body has never been more stifling. Germany has been in and out of this form many times is he used to it? 

I couldn’t notice the environment as we rushed past. I kind of wish those moments before I became a Nation would have been the last time I had seen it before it was destroyed. It was still a part of my childhood, no matter how small. I didn’t want to see it collapse again. I didn’t want it to be my fault.

The lights in the sky, they didn’t faze me anymore. I could look at them despite the grotesque drain they had made without any pain. If I rested my ears, then I could hear it hum gently. It was rhythmic, somehow formulaic; like a puzzle trying to solve itself.

“You can be a new member of the team now, huh?” Germany slows his pace for a second or two. 

“Team?”

“Well, I didn’t really have a team before. Lutz convinced me it would be a good idea…” 

“Did you not want me to be on the – team?” I leaned a little closer and held his hand a little tighter. I still didn’t know Germany, well, at all. He was terrifying to me. Where was he taking me? I wanted to run away. Where would I run to? Where would I get back to? If I look just like a human I could simply blend in, right? It wouldn’t feel right or safe. Even if we were both Nations, his frame was so imposing in comparison to my smaller one. We might have had the same kind of power, but he still had more experience. I had no choice but to stay close to him for now. 

“Are you pleased with what you have done to yourself, Italy?” 

I couldn’t answer that. 

There had to have been more to this than a simple aching curiosity, disturbance, or yearning of some kind. This shouldn’t ‘just happen’ to someone. Mythology has claimed various ways Nations come into existence. Many saying Nations are a trial laid out to those on their final earthly lifespan; failures are cast into nature for eternity. Unmoving, yet still sentient. Others state Nations are children abandoned by War Gods themselves. They lead their lives desperately controlling world events in hope that in some way it’ll lead them back home. I don’t recall any single legend that had Nationhood be thrust upon regular people. Perhaps I was cursed in some way, for some long untold unholy deed of which I had no knowledge of. 

“It’s coming back tonight.”

“What is it?” I asked him.

He shook his head and gulped. “We’ll both see in a bit. We’re going to have to step through.” 

The gap in the sky? To go through it? Back as a human, I knew that was a world in which I should not have witnessed. Is this a part of my world now? It must have been. Almost as if Nations are part of a greater world, a greater reality so to say. They are taking in everything from this world at once inside their tiny forms. Must they be able to peer into the unknowable too? Or what could be seen as more unknowable, with that kind of strength?

I look at it closer. It was lower to the ground than I thought it had first been. I could walk into it without thinking. I didn’t need to ‘fly up’ to it or do anything else improbable for a regular human body. 

Here I could see it dripping, it was far less mysterious up close. The liquid which seeped from it was much more like a glowing sludge. Visceral, seeping. Yellow as it bled, pure and clear as it appeared to reach the ground. The intense flashing of its internal space, it was something like purple or pink. Lines clashing inside of it, stars which had come loose or a reflection of how they had become lost. Tied to the time period in which they had tried to recreate.

Stepping inside was something else. 

I still was holding Germany’s hand very tightly. Yet, for some moments I didn’t realise it or even notice he was there. The entrance was enlivening. The blood of the sky as fresh as a waterfall. The warmth of my skin was elevated. There was once a sense of equilibrium. Bright lights! Blue and then white! They didn’t hurt my eyes even if they should have been bright enough to burn my eyes. It didn’t hurt me and seem to want to. 

A few moments of bliss to be replaced with instant panic. 

This world was expansive, with no end or beginning. Layers and layers upon of rolling pink hills with glistening shades moving each second. They shone with energy, something like lightning. Bubbles arising and quickly disappearing as if fading into the environment or to become a part of it. They make strange shapes in the air, expanding and contracting at will. The whole thing reminded of some kind of alien ocean and I was underwater. I could see and I could breathe. A beautiful, unnatural and shifting environment. Unable to tell where the ground finished, and the sky started. All was one enclosure and the seal had shut behind me.

“It should come back, shouldn’t it?” I notice Germany again, appearing to turn his head to an empty space next to him. 

Is that Lutz? Did he simply materialize? His purple eyes jolted into view. The rest of his beige and brown costume followed. 

“It’ll come back, I’m sure of it.”

“Soon?”

Lutz nodded. “Soon.”

“Wait – What’s coming soon?”

“I should probably tell you what’s going on, Italy.” 

Germany gestured something to Lutz. He shut his eyes before vanishing and appearing again beside me. I blinked at him, unafraid of his mysticism.

“This, Italy is part of a time stream. A damaged one to be specific.”

“This is time?”

“You are within time itself, a place where it has crashed, and its events melted away into unresolvability.”

“How – did…?”

“Nations are naturally attuned to the history of humanity, its flow, its interpretation. They are a part of its construction after all.”

Germany butted in. “We didn’t cause this, however. It’s not our fault Italy, only that something went wrong here, and we can fix it.”

“How – how can we fix that?”

“By acknowledging the excess of human suffering.” Lutz lowered his head.

“Human suffering?” 

“I don’t have time to explain everything now, but I admit you will have to fight against it, in order to restore it.” 

I’m not ready for anything. I can’t fight, I can’t. Why can’t I find an escape? There has to be an escape here! The area crossed me like a cage. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to be here. I don’t care what I am, what I’m supposed to be. I could live in my world, yet I chose to follow him. Why did I have to follow him? I don’t care if there is no place for me there. I do not want for there to be a place for me here. I will get home, right? I will…

“G-Germany?” I turned to him. 

“Yes, Italy?” 

He was hunched over, his blue eyes in a steady focus. Was he unwilling to turn his head? Ludwig? Why can’t you look at me! 

My hands trembled as I slowly went out to reach the green cloth of his clothing.

“Change me back…” 

“What!” He spat.

“Change me back. Change me back! Please for the love of god, Germany! Change me…” 

I drew even closer until I was hugging him. His body was soft, familiar. A strange sense of comfort…

“Italy!” 

Germany spun, and I was pushed onto the floor. Jelly-like, I felt it running down my back. It was cold and thin as a snake, probably just as venomous or otherwise sickening. 

“I said – that I was sorry.” He couldn’t bear to look at me. “Italy, you might have been dead now if Lutz hadn’t had acted the way he did!” 

Lutz appeared behind me again, offering his jittering hand. I come closer and see how he flashes like old tv static. His touch is fuzzy and like air. Am I touching anything at all? He somehow lifted me off of the strange ground nevertheless.

“What? What do you mean I-”

Lutz shrugged. “I just did what I could do.” 

What did he have to do? Any of this? 

“Can you just, please!” I went to reach him. I shook his arm, but his expression had no falter. 

“I can’t do anything else now, but this is all I could do.” 

Germany screamed something appeared out of the corner of my eye. There was a rumble and the colours changing again. A glowing pink to purple, violet, blue. An echo, and the sound of guns. Germany summoned those guns? They looked as if they could be real, taken from some time or place in history. They were sleek and glossy. A silvery black with a fine point. A stable facet of this shifting dimension.  
“So sorry,” Lutz whispered before vanishing from my side.

“Germany! What are you doing, isn’t that the same method you used last time!” 

“Calm yourself, Lutz. I just need to wind it down a little more. I was getting close last time, closer than you think.”

“I’m still not so sure.”

Germany sighed, a light blue energy emulating from the palm of his hands. His eyes flicker in concentration as a silver rifle appeared from his hand. The rest of the guns stand around him as if firmly placed in the ground.

“I’ll be quicker this time.” His pupils constricted, his blue eyes becoming so incredibly small, there was another echo. The setting shifting back to a pure pink. Germany fired his weapon.

“What! What is that!” 

It was there right in front of me! A great beast of disgusting proportions. It’s the size of several buildings. I could guess at least 4 or 5 stories of height, but I couldn’t quite tell with it insane figure. White; A painful contrast against the neon of this world! Two, three, four eyes? I think. Something about it looked as if it had emerged fresh from the ocean as if running water extruded from it at all possible angles. Long strands of tentacle-like design appeared at the base of the creature, tangled around each other in a heap. Its upper half having a ‘head’ jolting off in all directions. Formed as shards of triangular shapes floating, coming together, floating. The pointed objects at the very top of its body, like daggers, were the most noticeable. Hovering like esoteric symbols of insight or fear. What could it see through its pink eyes? More than I ever should; National Personification, or human.

“Fire!” Germany yelled. The rapid sounds made me jump back from where I was standing.

It’s coming towards me! Germany, are you even slowing it down? How did you get those weapons? Should I be doing that? Not me. Not me. I can shut my eyes. Can I concentrate? Something that’ll get it away from me. If I fight, will I die? I’ll fight. I’ll fight, and I won’t die. I’ll give into to my one option, for better or for worse. I can see – I can see a thousand arrows in my head. Their heads pointed and sharp. An older silver treasures. Pointing, pointing away from me! They hang there, like a crown above my head. Resting, resting. Release! 

“Italy!” that was Lutz calling me.

Where did those arrows go?

“Thank Goodness! I guess you can manipulate your energy field after all!” 

“Energy, what?” 

My eyes jolted open. The monster showed no signs of weakening. I could see some arrows fly towards it. My arrows? They only merely broke the rim of its eyelid. 

Germany was still managing to fire rapid shots, I backed away slightly. Was it bleeding now?

I think it was blood? Pastel pink and pouring from its eyeball. The colour forming streaks along its sparkling form. It reminded me of flowers. Perhaps a violet or white hibiscus? Perhaps even a rose! The fluid portrayed the same soft, frail quality. 

Germany ran forward, several guns in his arms and made straight for the monster below him. 

Lutz screamed. “Germany. Fuck. What did I tell you, what are you-

Nothing in Lutz’s body changed. Despite his concern, his body frame remained static. It didn’t shake and there was no sweat coming from his face. Everything about him remained consistent.

Where’s Germany now? I can’t hear him, and the sound of fire had stopped. I saw many of the guns he had attempted to attack with, strewn aside. 

I stepped forward, my stomach tense and acid clinging to the inside of my throat. From here everything within the revolving hills could properly be seen. I get the feeling that I am above something. From here focus my attention on the beast! Watching, watching, there it is! Could this really be my responsibility alone? 

I turned back to Lutz. “What is – Why aren’t you doing anything!” 

“I can’t! I’m not even from here!” 

I gritted my teeth at him, before sighing and turning back to the edge. Germany had been caught away by the creature. I saw that part of his boot dangled from its dislocated tendril. 

“Sorry. Italy, you are own your with this one. Germany was always alone yet –” 

I only saw Germany fall prey to what could have been incompetence this one time. No other encounter with him did he rush into battle like this. Perhaps he was eager to get it over and done with, so I wouldn’t interfere.

I’m sorry, Germany. I didn’t mean to ruin your existence… 

I close my eyes. I have to forget he’s there. I have to forget where I am, what I’ve become, what I’m doing, just for the seconds so that I can focus again. I can save Germany, I can. I just need to focus on hurting it. On its pain – where I can strike!

I manage to materialize a crossbow-like device and a sort of rope. I aim for the creature’s jelly-like branches extending below it. They are thin and slither around. A pair of them carry Germany around his waist like it was trying to crush his bones. I wait with an extreme focus for two of the tendrils to overlap and manage to strike it. 

I was able to grasp something in those moments of calm. My first real taste of being a Nation? When the arrowhead gripped the creature; I pulled back, and back and back and something inside the creature tipped and its entire frame had turned. Had I really pulled down that beast with my power alone? Normally I would normally struggle to lift something as simple as my art supplies. I would also feel a sense of disgust when even looking at weapons, let alone holding them in my hands. What if this human frame was an illusion of my own design? To the humans on the outside, I really had gained a visibly new form. Yet, this newfound sense of strength was strangely liberating; I could even say it felt good. 

Germany was still far below me. I couldn’t see his full body. I think he managed to scramble up to his feet within a few seconds after the beast had let go of him. He didn’t turn to look back at me, almost as if he expected to be saved. Did he really have faith in me after all? I really hope he did! Unless this was all just a made-up test!

He managed to pull the trigger, so very close to its face releasing a whirling sound. It became a whirlwind of fragments of light. 

Was it dead? Shards flashed around in every direction. Like pieces of broken mirrors. I can just catch sight of my reflection within them. As I expected, I had looked perfectly human. 

“Thank Goodness.” Lutz sighed. 

Germany jumped up to join me. Nations could jump pretty high. Suppose it made sense if they could many other things. Below us, the creature melted into seemingly an endless flood of pink and gold. Everything bright and searing in the room turned pallid; it splashed itself against the everchanging design of its valleys. 

Germany had no emotion on his face. It was stern with the only sound being an occasional sniff. He was a rock, stable and unmoving. I wanted to speak to him, I should have spoken to him. I was still in utter awe of what I had done, and it was the only thing I could focus on. I looked down at my hands and the rest of my body in disbelief at who I am now.

Was Germany hurt? He showed no sign of bruises or even bleeding. If he were human and had been restricted for so long, I would have expected his entire body to be wrangled, cracked, broken, dead. 

The liquid released from the corpse of the creature begun to wash away the shell of this world, as if it were paint on a canvas. The colours drained and ran. It melted to reveal the landscape of the town square once again. 

With that, I felt a part of my body melted away too. My body felt as if it had entered a molten state until a great pang struck me in the chest. I screamed and fell back onto the harsh pavement. 

I’m going to die. I’m going to die. Oh, dear god, I’m going to die. I can’t breathe. What’s around me now? What happened? I can only focus on my heart rate, my breath. Tears were streaming down my burning cheeks. I had been forced to shed my Nation self and become human again. I was in a daze, everything around me was a rapid shadow, passing inches of colours. White. Orange. Green. Orange. I only wept and placed my shaking hands over my eyes. Black. My throat ached from all the force of my tears. I couldn’t move. I was static. Unaware of the sounds crashing around me. I was enclosed to myself, there was nothing outside my body. I don’t think there was enough in my stomach to throw up, although I felt desperate to. 

I could vaguely tell the presence of Ludwig behind me. I jittered, before forcing myself to violently turn around. I screamed at him and continued to cry. 

“Feliciano!” his face was red with lines of sweat running down his face.

“W-what?” speaking choked me. 

“Why didn’t you do something sooner, I could have - ” 

He was cut off by a need to clench his stomach. Just where he the beast had gripped him before.  
“Ludwig?”

I could just reach out my trembling hand to touch him but stopped myself short. I didn’t want to look at him in such a weak position. I saw him tremble, with breathing so rapid and shallow. Where was Lutz? Did he just abandon us? Did he leave when Germany became Ludwig again? 

I slowly turned my head around, forcing my frail arms to lift myself off the floor. It took so much energy to just move. I blink several times, forcing myself to look up. It’s only now I see the amount deep grey smog which floated through the air. There was a horrific crashing noise. Almost like an explosion. An entire building straight ahead of me alight with fire. It was too great and unstoppable at this point, almost supernatural. The fire held a wisp-like quality and a green tinge. It floated, flew between its destinations as if it had a sense of direction. It continued to enlighten the rows of white buildings behind it. 

How did we know there weren’t people in there? Will they all sleep through the fire? What if they were working into the night and couldn’t get out in time? I became this, for what? To suffer? To force others to suffer too? Those few moments of glory suddenly felt so meaningless. 

“Ludwig?” I whispered. 

His arms were slowly moving. He had managed to lift his spine upward, so he could stand up straight. Had he recovered from losing his power? And so quickly too. I moved to put my arms around him. I just had to. I wanted to ignore the world around me and cried into the white cloth of his shirt. I focused on his embrace. I needed to desperately cling to something, someone. I begged he didn’t hate me. 

“Ludwig?”

His breathing was still slow. I could sense that all of his anger was buried deep inside him. “What is it?”  
“Why do I have to be here? Why do I have to be with you!”

“I don’t know. But I know it’s my burden to bear.” He pushed me away and sighed deeply. 

I looked back to the fire. Its red and green flares awe-inspiring, disgusting, I turn back to him. I wish I could have cried an ocean. It would have put out the fire and would have made sense of how I felt inside. I turn away from Ludwig, from what I had done. I wanted to go home. arrived. Not think about this. Not think about anything. I pulled my bedraggled body across the square for what I thought was the last time. I would cry until I ran out of tears. I felt like a burden, I was a burden. Worse than a burden. A useless, meaningless, destroyer.


	2. Confrontation

It rained.

It rained, and it drenched me to the bone. Through my light pyjamas until it had covered itself everywhere across my body. It had at least made crying a little easier. My face, the sniffling sounds I made became less noticeable as they washed away. The musty smell of the rain rising from the pavement was at least much more pleasant than the smoke. Should I be getting away from this? It wasn't as if I had simply started a fire. I had caused something else entirely. I didn’t even know what ‘it’ was! I should never give into my curiosity again! I couldn’t! I would keep that part of myself locked away and I wouldn’t need it again! Shouldn't I stay indoors for days? No more Nationhood, no more lights, and no more beckoning me to become what I am not -

As the light from the passing cars drew by, I shook and turned away each time. I could hardly walk along the pavement without a sense of apprehension.

That’s where my home was? I see it in the distance, holding a strong familiarity - even in the dark - vision is blurry. It’s been hard to focus on anything with these burning eyes. I had been trawling through the rain for what seemed like hours. No, it mustn’t have been hours; it wasn't far from the square. How did time go by while I was held in battle? In a space in-between us and the rest of the universe, does time move there at all? It was still as dark as ever.

There was no fire for there to suddenly be a fire. Did the fire grow the longer I stayed inside? The fire, with its sickly green glow. I’m sure nobody was inside there. Nobody was inside there. Nobody –  
I shivered and threw up in my mouth a little. I continued to cry. They never found Nations. Not even as suspected Nation has been shut away before. But I transformed almost instantly? How could I have escaped what I’d done? Someone would surely find me soon. How long had Germany been moving around? Starting nowhere. Ending nowhere.

I reached for the doorknob. I could faintly see its brown glow with the light from the rain. The metal was a welcoming sort of cold. My weak hands turned to open it.

So quiet. My parents were still sound asleep. I didn't think I would wake them with my crying. The rest of the living room and kitchen was hard to make out in the dark. The gold of the walls and pale carpet barely visible. It was at least warm in here. I had escaped the rain at last. The bannister, which lead upstairs, was to the left of me. I could move my hands around until I could feel it. Trying to trace it, but not so gracefully. I placed my hand on the smooth oak and attempted to bring myself up the stairwell. I could feel myself almost tripping on the first step, feet scrapping on the carpet. I managed to drag myself upstairs and pushed open the door to my bedroom, the second door on the right. I was so glad to see my bed again! Its frame of white bright against the rest of my room. Although, it wasn’t that I would be able to sleep tonight. Where was Amina? Probably in my parents’ room, or downstairs. It would have been too dark notice her, even with her bright green eyes which tended to light up anyway. I missed her. I had seen her yesterday, but I really did miss her. I stepped carefully enough to mind my easel just by the wardrobe. Had I not put any of my art equipment away? What was the time? I notice the clock: 1: 45 am. So, time hadn’t passed or had barely done so? I pushed it onto the floor, so I wouldn’t have to stare into its green glow or hear it pesteringly tick as I laid down. It was to the left of my bed where some of my unmade bedsheets poured over. It’s plastic body making a pathetic ‘thud’ as it hit the ground.

I notice that little orb. Reflecting the world in all its beauty – I still had it.

It must have been in my pocket and had been returned to me after I had switched forms. It had quiet hum and images of purity, serenity. A cloudless sky – it’s fury unbearable. A deceptive object, creator of deceptive creatures. I looked up, noticing my curtains were still slightly open. The white, now grey, curtains flapping in the wind. Odd patches of rain hitting the sides. I returned to sitting, with my eye on the window frame. I pulled myself up, being as careful as I could to not stand on my clock, pushing it away with my foot. I didn’t have the heart to destroy it.

I shifted the window entirely to the right. I could faintly see the various trees below me. The drops of rain hitting them, shining for a moment then disappearing as the light changed. I was still sniffing but at least my crying no longer overpowered the rain. I took a deep breath and a second to wipe some of the tears from my face. Placing my hands on the edge of my window and firmly holding the orb in my right; I focused on the distance of the night which stood ahead of me. I held the orb up to my face for what I thought would be the last time. It was still so wonderful! The little planet dancing in motion. Its patterns and promises of peace trying to tempt me back. How dare it?! The pain it had caused me, everyone, its beauty was mocking just that. I threw it. Thank goodness! I shut the windows tightly and headed straight back to my bed.

I laid there, for how long? My shallow breath rattling, my heart beating inside my head. A thought came over me - It would survive the fall wouldn’t it? What if it ended up in someone else’s hands? I would be responsible for their misery then. I would be forcing someone else to take on my pain. Pain which I had brought on by myself. I shuddered, why did I have to be such a coward? Why couldn’t I accept my own failure to –

There was a crashing sound as shards of glass flew everywhere.

A few hit the bed. The rest seemed to go in all directions. I ducked and then curled myself up to avoid getting them launched into my skin. Something behind me hit the floor. Was it? Of course, it was. I shifted the rest of my body to be upright again and turned to the side and look to my carpet. It had come back to me. Its glow lighting up the cream of the floor, making it an earthy brown. I should have expected it – but I felt sick – entirely at its mercy. I lifted myself from the bed. The slow movement of my quivering arms and legs made it take an almost unbearable amount of time. What is it – what do you want with me? I was still crying; my tears fell on it. Yet, this ‘world’ remained happy.

“You threw me away,” a whisper from somewhere.

“W-wh-what!” I attempted to scream at it “W-wh-where are you!”

“It’s me, I’m here.”

There was some kind of rupture all across the room. An earthquake? I moved back. I tried to run, only to fall onto the floor; twisting my entire foot as I fell. Of all the things I had encountered today, who knew what would injure me would be my own carpet? I clenched onto it. Not noticeable wounds or blood at least. The rumbling soon after ceased. I looked back at the orb as I laid on the floor. It became entirely pink, then red - something was starting to rise from it.

A mist, which swirled upwards and seconds later stood a fully formed human. Not an abomination, or anything that would bend the imagination. Just, a normal human who looked, almost - exactly like me.  
His colours were entirely different to my human ones, his eyes were an unnatural deep pink, in comparison to my brown ones. His hair was slightly darker as well and carried a red tint. Yet: the shape of his face, his large eyes to the curl on the side of his head, he was me. The brown uniform he wore, reminiscent of war. Did mine look like that as a Nation? Just in another colour? I could have sworn I was wearing blue. Then I remembered Lutz, how much he looked like Germany. He was like a mirror of him, albeit a darker one. A grim reflection of his future?

I just about managed not to scream. I bit my lip. He tilted his head.

“Italy, calm down,” He held his gaze before taking the time to blink “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there earlier. I really should have done something, it all moved too fast for me.”

“Wh-who are you?”

“You can call me Luciano.”

“Lu-Luciano. Are you - me?”

He shook his head “I’m almost a part of you but that’s not what you’re asking, is it?”

I carefully nodded and managed to find the energy to kneel. I didn’t want to look at him, and I kept my head to the ground.

“I keep this for so it’s more comfortable for you to communicate with me.”

Form? What did he really look like? Why of all things did he manifest as me? I gulped, he forced my thoughts back into picturing my own Nation self. Perhaps I was just as bad as what I had fought today?  
“Why-why me. Why does it have to be me Lu-Luciano? Was what I’ve done that awful to make me…”

“This isn’t awful, Italy, it’s jus-”

“What do you mean this isn’t awful! You – I turned into a monster! I have no idea if I killed someone – when I caused that fire and held those weapons – I looked, felt just like those Nations of old did. Did I really fix time, did Germany just tell me so I wouldn’t feel sad? I’m probably hurting him, too aren’t I?” I held my head in my hands to try and prevent myself from crying again, it didn’t work. All this guilt, I couldn’t get rid of it.

There were moments of silence, did Luciano not know how to respond? I felt a gentle tap on my arm.  
“It’s nowhere near as bad as you think.”

Was Luciano’s touch actually warm? Did he just make it that way because he somehow could? It is resonating with my rattling skin. The sense of heat ran through my body. He placed it on my arm for a few seconds, oh god, get off me! I bashed it away, I think I would have hurt him if he hadn’t been this ethereal – thing! The cosy spikes of his ‘skin’ ran fuzzy. “As bad as I think? Bad as I –”

I kept sobbing. It was as if every little small reminder set me off. I couldn’t control my thoughts. What I needed to do if I was to get even the slightest amount of sleep tonight. Luciano wanted to confront me. I couldn't duck this life in the way that I wanted to. I was bound to it now. There was no escape, no matter where I went. I wanted to force myself to listen to Luciano; even if my entire body told me I hated him. “Why-how can, I -”

“You’re asking how it can be any better than you think it is?” Luciano replied calmly.

I struggled to move my tongue, make any words at all. Too bogged down by the phlegm clinging to my throat, pouring from my nose. I forced a nod.

“First of all, this job is only a temporary one.”

“W-w-what?”

I had always thought Nations were immortal spirits. Even if stripped of human form, they always endured in some way.

“Y-you can take my Nationhood from me?” I asked.

“I don’t take it away, it – goes away on its own.”

“How – How do I get rid of it then?”

Luciano sighed before folding his arms. “You know that beast you fought today?”

“Beast – would be a kind word to describe it.”

“Well, it’s actually called an anomaly. They are representative of ‘abnormalities’ in human history, and time itself is kind of important to the existence of the universe, I thought -”

“Thought what?”

“You would treat this role with a bit more respect!”

“Respect? R-Respect!” I huffed. Beginning to scramble around on the floor. I gripped the carpet and pulled myself closer to him. A faint voice inside me wanted to hurt him, it immediately flickered out. I placed both arms back onto the carpet. He looked down at me, kind of dear. I grovelled at his feet.

“Please, just take this away from me,” I gulped. “Take me back and let me live my life as I was supposed to. I’m – I’m not the warrior you think I am or made me into. Unless there is – is another reason?” I took a moment to catch my breath. I was drowning in myself again.

“Another reason?”

“A-a-am I cursed o-or something?”

A smirk appeared on his face. His eyes appeared to light up a little. “Nothing of the sort!”

“Then w-w-why am I – you here? How come –”

“You don’t need to be cursed to become a Nation, you don’t need to be anything at all. It is almost random in its nature.”

“Bu-but I h-had to meet Ludwig, I had to, and I’m only tied up in this because – because he is too!”

“Ludwig had nothing to do with it. You met with him, that was it. Lutz saw you and decided to help you. The only factor that gave you this life was luck,” He paused, appeared to look at the wall and then back to me. “In other words, you could have easily avoided it, if you had not decided to leave the house tonight. It was all a matter of circumstance.”

“Ho-How do you know?”

“I’m almost a part of you now, so I know a lot about you actually…”

I faced down and shivered. My body rattling not out of anger this time. He wasn't me, but a part of me. A part of me I could not see? Only the part that turned me into a Nation? I felt a cold sweat and coughed.

“You’re Feliciano Vargas, but really you are Italy. You grew up here in this town, this room, and have lived here for your entire life. I mean, really you’ve barely moved around at all, in any way and -”

My brain had shut him off at this point. Having this stranger list off my life in such a mundane manner made my stomach drop. It was bile inducing. A sense of invasion, almost of the soul. I couldn’t listen.

“Feliciano?”

“I-I stopped listening.”

I slowly lifted my head, he quickly blinked at me and then shook his head.

“I-don’t care how you can know all that, but I would like to know more about getting my life back –”

Luciano kneeled down, now I could see his face at my level. I could closely see his fuchsia eyes, they held no emotion. Just vague imprints of one which had long left.

“Nations are a collective, correct?”

“I suppose that m-makes sense?”

“By embodying a collective, you not only become a lot physically stronger, but a lot mentally stronger too. It’s why the transformation saved you from dying to what you saw.”

“Y-yes?”

Luciano shook his head again. He seemed a little displeased at the interruption.

“The only reason you were able to make sense of anything afterwards is because your body was in operation on a collective level. It was effectively acting as many brain waves which combine into one!”

I twisted my head and tried to move out of that ‘begging’ pose. I saw the cream of the carpet in Luciano’s pinkish light. It was an almost sickly tint. It changed the colour of the floor to that of flesh. Luciano’s eyes gently followed mine as I moved them.

“On top of that, Nations has full access to the manpower of their military but in a more abstract form.” He turned to mimic my face. “You managed to at least do something with that, didn’t you?” now he was flipping his head from side to side. Almost in an attempt to be ‘cute’. I tried and forced smile at him but couldn't. It's fake.

No, Luciano, I don’t think you’re going to cheer me up. I can tell you’re trying.

I hid my face from him instead. Placing my hand over my eyes and shutting them. “I th-think I did?”

“A crossbow, right?”

“Yes.”

“I think Germany could have died if you hadn’t have done anything!”

“Do-don’t say that!”

Please, just let me curl up into nothing...

“Why you did something great!” he laughed.

I attempted to mutter something, which probably sounded like a prompt of curiosity to Luciano.

“The anomaly you fought today was one called ‘Deneb Adige’ and in terms of raw strength, it was actually one of the weakest I’ve seen.”

Luciano’s fuzzy body shuffled. My eyes still shut, I’m guessed he had moved from the floor. “It’s not a reason to be disheartened though, you’ll have to face many more of all kinds. Weaker and stronger. If you’ve done it today, you’ve proved to yourself you can take on much more later.”

“I’m the weakest fighter of anyone I – I know. I don’t want – can’t fight anything.” I shake my head, do I dare look at him, even as I attempt to sit up? My leg still hurts. I want to sit up. Was I done looking this sorry for myself?

“It's not a matter of you Italy! In terms of sheer strength, you actually far from the weake-!”

“My body can’t handle the change let alone use the – ” I screamed at him before being cut off.

“Please! Italy! Calm down! Calm down!”

Luciano sighed. Blinking, I saw that he gestured to me. His hands were calling me to stand up. I was comfortable just staying here, on the floor. Yet, I couldn’t disobey him. I moved myself up from the carpet as carefully as possible. I jerked my foot again and made a quiet yelp of pain. I wanted to keep my eyes closed, but they more or less twitched. I didn’t see if Luciano had a reaction to my quiet scream. There was at least no audible one.

“You’ve got to take this as it comes!”

I not only shut my eyes but faced away from him.

“If I do that, then won’t I just k-kill myself?”

“You need to destroy the anomalies as quickly as they appear, the less you think about it the easier it becomes. Once all of the anomalies are cleared, then you’ll become human again.”

My comment must have gone over his head.

“What if I don’t destroy them! What then!”

“Not only will you spend a lot longer living in-between your human and your nation state for practically eternity, but the anomalies would reach this world. Twisting and reforming places that once made sense, slowly twisting them into dimensions beyond human and then Nation comprehension.”

“So, I’m a m-monster regardless of if I do nothing or do – something?!”

“This world will be affected regardless of what you do, Nations are a small part of everything and everywhere. Try focusing next time, you’ll feel your heartbeat matches the wind. You’ll be able to hear birds tweet and water running from miles away. Nations might be associated with war, but really, they can be one with nature too.”

He grinned, I couldn’t help it. I burst out into tears again. How had I not run out of tears? His smile had just pushed me over the edge.

“You’re not helping! Stop complimenting me! Stop! People died today, at my hand and I just need to stop it, just need to – ”

I threw my arms up and screamed. I had to face him, stand next to him. I stood up and am no longer below him, I see I was his equal as he was mine. Aside from his beret, Luciano was the exact same height as me, and his eyes held the same steady gaze.

“It’ll end eventually, but for now you can do good,” his eyes held a kind of glint. “The end justifies the means, does it not?”

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I just want to stop being a destroyer, in any kind in any way. Killing people is no justification for anything! It doesn't matter, It doesn't -”

I couldn’t stop myself from screaming again. A reminder of the constant feeling of scratching at my throat.

“Italy, Italy. Come here…”

He moved to place his arms around me. His body still far from natural in feeling, I wondered if he realised this? I could struggle out of it, I could easily break away from his arms. I didn’t want to upset him. Instead, I moved my arms around him instead. He let me gently cry into his chest.

“You know, I haven’t been able to speak to anyone in a long time. I’m glad the first person I got to speak to was you, Italy.”

Did he really mean that? Could Luciano even feel genuine emotion, considering what he was supposed to be? I was a Nation, feeling all this emotion now. Perhaps what I thought of as ‘Human’ emotion was a far wider range than I had expected.

Luciano, I wish to believe you are telling the truth.

I took a deep breath, and spoke entirely for myself: “Luciano, I would very much like to try and get some sleep now…”

“Oh, right. You should!” he laughed again, I thought his laugh held a twinge of malice. I forced myself into laughing back. My throat still burning from the endless crying I had been doing. I pushed myself away from Luciano slowly, so he didn’t notice and wouldn’t get distraught.

“You’re going to survive for me, Italy, okay. You’re going to live as a Nation and only die as a human. I’ll make that promise to you now. You’ll get through this, come out stronger the other side.”

Luciano faded away, the orb below his feet flashed and he disappeared. The room was left in complete darkness again.

As he left, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. A temporary sense of freedom which was quickly crushed as reality came back to me. There was no amount of promises he could make that would convince me to change my mind: I was longer a good person, and I was not safe.

I picked the orb back up and caressed it in my right hand. Was Luciano waiting for me there? Sleeping? Was he nothing in the time he was away from me? But he had his own thoughts and feelings away from mine. Is the energy of a whole living being – and more protected in this tiny sphere?

What if I crushed it here and now? Got a hammer and saw if it split apart? Saw it’s shards scatter across my room, like little crystals or fragments of the ocean, now solid? Removed all the conciseness from it and the Nationhood.

Why – how could I even think of that?

It didn't matter what Luciano was, living, dead, neither. He meant me no harm. No matter how much he wanted to bind me to this life. He might have too, been my only escape. I felt a burning sensation rising through my body. I gasped and sighed but still keep tight hold in the orb. I placed it carefully on the bedside table, just above where I had knocked my clock off. I can’t believe I had thought of doing that! Destroying the life that was possibly contained within there…

Looking at the circle, I wondered how my Nationhood isn’t so weak. The sphere is light and warm to the tough. Graceful, not strong. My life depended on it, far too much.

I took the bedsheets back from the mess they were in. All of their colour appearing grey in this very limited light. I don’t normally sleep on the right side of my body. I couldn’t look at all the light streaming from that side this time.

I shut my eyes. Focused on nothing. Hoped for the best.

There wasn’t much point in hoping.

The only sleep which was brought to me was in periodic flashes. My thoughts resurfacing again and again. Any mix of reality and unreality will be imperfect. This dimension and that dimension cannot converge without shattering. Yet, they did so in my mind. Perfectly clear. I still see the beast – the anomalies eyes. Their glow so sickly, looking straight at me. Screaming from all angels. Screaming in this world and back into that world. I think what would have happened had I run away, just then. Would the town had become trapped in an indiscernible landscape? Snaring and ripping it to pieces? I would have killed more people for sure, probably even Ludwig would be dead. They would all be dead! Or forgotten. I would have been so much more to blame for so much more disaster. Dying would be no use to me. My fate was tied to everyone’s now. If I tell them what I’m doing they would kill me anyway. Or worse, with no second thoughts.

I was selfish to think of my own death, selfish, selfish so selfish.

Wrestling with my bedsheets was a challenge. Wrapping over one another. The momentary and sporadic moments I had managed to sleep I awoke in a cold sweat. My body refusing sleep in any way it could. When my mind wasn’t racing with questions I focused on my body. Random pains simultaneously appearing and vanishing. Others never fading, I must have twisted my side from each time I changed position. My heart-beat physically dragged my body down. I could almost feel myself dying.

I laid on my back. It was the only position that didn’t hurt now. The pain in my body stopped for a second. Yet, my body was heavy, so heavy. A stone-like case. I couldn’t move even my eyes. It was as black as it ever was. Was it? Something dark is standing by the door. No, somebody was standing by the door. It was coming towards me. Slowly but surely. It was as if it was looking to strike its target. I’ve got to get out. I’ve got to get out. Did I recognize this sensation? I’ve had nights where I’ve seen shadows out the corner of my eye. They would flicker, gone almost an instant after I had seen them. This one stayed put though and was more than just shadows. This one had appeared twisting, black framed shadow, then red. A perfectly formed human in every way. I tried to move my fingers or toes. Nothing. I told myself I could get out of this. It was getting closer. It was right next to my bed. I saw how it has hair which bounces as it moves. It’s – Its clothing appeared blue? The exact shade of blue I had worn as Italy. I saw how he places his hands on me. One hand on my right and one on my left. The rest of his entire body between me. His chest was resting on mine. Tightly, tightly. I can’t breathe. I want to scream. I know I can only scream internally. Not a single part of my body could do anything. His eyes were amber even with a glow. How could he have so much colour? Was he just a shadow? I told myself this will be over soon. That I could end this myself. He rested there, a soft smug grin. Nation? Demon? Are they the same thing? There are whispers, something in a mocking tone. I can’t tell what it is, but it fills my body. I’m dying, I’m dying. There are flashes of blackness. He was still there. He was so happy I’m dying. Let me breathe – let me –

Time descended, after minutes of panic I awoke. There was a small light shining through the window through the curtains. In a rush, I went and looked down at the clock. I see underneath the pile of my bedsheets: 4: 12 am. The night had continued at a similar pace.


End file.
